Breathe – Dream Weave Coaching

Breathe and Be. You break or you build from here.

August 30, 2020WarriorLara

whenbrave

“You have this between you now as part of your history together. There’s been hurt on both sides. That changes things. Maybe a little, maybe a lot. Either way, things will never be the same as they were. You break or you build from here.” The Queen’s Bargain Anne Bishop

Emotions rush through me, up from the darkest place of my being, like a swollen river raging out of control. Memories that have been playing in my mind for a weeks come flooding in with a fierceness that takes my breath away. I feel out of breath from the punch to the gut I experience. I am rocked to my core and want nothing more than to run away. I jump up out of my chair ready to run to something else to do, anything that will stop my feelings. Maybe I will get some food. Maybe I will turn on my phone and FB scroll. Maybe I will turn on Netflix. Maybe I will find some brainless task to do. Anything to stop the flood of feelings and the panic that rushes over me as I experience being very close to some truth that won’t be silenced anymore.

All of this happens in the span of a minute or less, though the intensity of it all feels like a lifetime. Then something inside of me, that wisdom self who seeks to call me to deeper healing, speaks up. “Stop Lara! Right now, stop running. Sit down and breathe into the pain that desperately wants to be healed. Breathe into and know that you are strong enough for this truth and you are ready to heal that wound a little bit more today. Stop. Breathe. Be.”

So I stop. I breathe. I allow myself to be in this time and this moment. I stop running. I breathe into the pain rather than push it away. I trust that I can hear what I need to hear. Stop. Breathe. Be.

Russell and I were in a very broken place in our relationship when he died. We had started counseling which helps me believe that we would have found our way back to one another. But we had just started and the brokenness was the predominant thread within our relationship. My memories of our brokenness and the hurts we had each inflicted upon each other have been playing over and over and over in my mind for much of this year. Why this year, I am not sure. Maybe because I’ve had so much more time to think about things. Maybe because I’m watching all of the hurt that people are inflicting upon one another in our world and so it is spotlighting my own history more. Maybe because I am ready to listen to what wisdom I can gain from these truths. Maybe because it is time to forgive myself for what I did and forgive him for what he did so that I can stop beating US up for the brokenness we created. Maybe so I can stop feeling like a complete failure. Maybe so I can let it go and move into a deeper place of healing and a new part of my life journey. Maybe because there is a growing part of me that wants to stop moving through my life as a sleepwalker. Maybe I want to fully wake up. Maybe, probably, all of these things and more.

Stop. Breathe. Be. Stop. Breathe. Be. Stop. Breathe. Be.

“Breathing in, breathing out, feeling resentful, feeling happy, being able to drop it, eating our food, brushing our teeth, walking, sitting – whatever we’re doing could be done with one intention. That intention is that we want to wake up, we want to ripen our ability to let go, we want to realize our connection with all beings. Everything in our lives has the potential to wake us up or put us to sleep. Allowing it to awaken us is up to us.” Comfortable with Uncertainty Pema Chodron.

Whatever the reasons are for why I can’t stop thinking of Russell, our brokenness and the hope I hold that we would have learned to build a new path for US, it is clear it is time for me to sit with it all. It is time for me to journal all that I can – the pain, the hope, the dark, the light. It is time for me to stop running from it all using food, busyness, and escapes to avoid thinking about it. It is time for me to say yes to listening to what needs to be heard. It is time for me to say yes to healing this. I stand at a tipping point of either breaking further or building from here.

Stop. Breathe. Be. Believe.

Breathe! It will be okay.

July 17, 2020WarriorLara

pennyheart

Horses hold heart space like no other creature I have ever encountered. For anyone they will hold space in a profound way, and especially for one who have they have decided is worthy of their trust and their attention and their hearts. Tonight, I was radically reminded of the powerful way a horse can hold quiet, solid space even as deep emotions swirl around them. Tonight, I allowed myself to let go, trust and collapse into the heart space of a horse. I am in awe of the gift I was given.

A year ago, we could barely get near Penny, the sweet, little lesson pony who came to Avalon with clear evidence of some significant trauma having happened to her at some point in her life. She desperately wanted to connect with people. She desperately wanted to believe that the gestures of patience, love and healing were real. But it took her months and months of quietness before she stopped flinching every time someone came near her, especially around her head. It’s only been in the past three months or so that she gives into the bliss of being rubbed on her head and her ears. Now, she calls to everyone who comes near and is often the first to say hello. Her fear has turned into a trusting choice to believe that people really do want the very best for and will only shower her with love here.

Well tonight, this sweet, little thing stood with all the confidence of 100 horses as I stood with my head buried in her neck sobbing my heart out. Not only did she stand there with her heart wide open to me, she made it very clear to the other two horses in the field to back the hell off as she became my shield. They weren’t doing anything except being curious and wanting to love on me too, but for that time, I was 100% hers to breathe with and they weren’t allowed in. Considering she is one of the most gentle, forgiving, laid back ponies I’ve ever seen in a herd this was quite stunning. She quietly made it crystal clear that she was creating the heart bubble space for me to just let go and cry. That is what horses do when they show up to hold heart space for a person. Penny stood there with me hanging all over her, sobbing, and all she did was breathe. She did this even to the point of taking a huge inhalation and letting it audibly go as if to say “Lara, I have got you!! Until you can breathe deeply again, I will do it for you. Just let go as much as you need to. You are safe. You are loved. You are not alone. I am HERE!”

With all of the amazing blessings that are present in my life right now and I am deeply grateful for, emotionally I am in a very dark season of my life. The number of unresolved things from the past several years that I am becoming aware of how deep some of the hurts run is kind of stunning. One after the other they are bubbling up and out. I’ve been trying to just keep moving, not write or speak about it, and just stay focused on all of the positives. Well now, I am planning to keep moving and to stay focused on the positives, and I am also going to start writing and speaking again about what is REALLY going on for me.

I am at my very best when I am writing my truth. I am at my very worst when I am not giving myself permission to write and speak my truth but rather I allow some random (sometimes imagined) others to dictate what I should write and share. I am at my very best when I am being honest about my struggles and my pain. I am at my very worst when I try to just put on a happy face and act as if everything is ok. I am at my very best when I name my fears out loud, then breathe right through them as I bravely take my next best step. I am at my very worst when I try to act as if there is nothing to be afraid of and I just need to focus on something else. I am at my very best when I find joy in the simplest of things and share that with the world as if I have found the most amazing treasure. I am at my worst when I think the lens through which I view the world is silly or unnecessary. I am at my very, very, very best when I stay in this time and this moment and live out loud whatever is showing up for me RIGHT NOW.

Horses mirror back to us what is really and truly going on inside of us. And they bring hearts of love energy that is bigger than anything we can really imagine. Tonight, in this time and in this moment I am deeply grateful for a sweet little pony who held my heart with fierce, unwavering love. I am breathing deeper. I am opening my heart up to my most authentic journey. And I know I will not only be okay, I AM OKAY!

Rest

May 17, 2020May 17, 2020WarriorLara

breathe

Evening affirmation…

Okay people, I know a whole lot of us are feeling exhausted by life right now. I hear it when I talk to people. I read it in people’s words and in the in-between spaces that can’t be written or spoken out loud just yet. I watch it in people’s eyes over their masks, and sense it in the heavy way they carry their bodies. I feel it in myself. Many of us are just tired into our very bones.

So, rest your bodies. Rest your minds. Rest your hearts and souls. Just inhale, then exhale, then inhale, then exhale. Stop holding your breath and allow your jaw to unclench. Close your eyes and just breathe. 🌬️🌬️🌬️

All those projects, all those to do lists, all those worries can wait. For just this time and just this moment, allow yourself to rest in whatever way can ease the ache in your soul.

With love and hugs,

Warrior Lara

Cuckoo Luckoo Land – I’ve Walked Here Before

March 31, 2020March 31, 2020WarriorLara

grief

I am not stronger than you. I am not living with some magical power special only to me. I am not doing “okay” because I live in a fantasy world. I am not better than anyone else out there trying to make sense out of what is happening in our world right now. I am no less afraid than others who are doing all they can to keep the demons at bay. I feel no less in control or less helpless than many of us are feeling. I feel no less confused and spun around like a top out of control than anyone else.

I am feeling hopeful because I have walked this road before. We are all, as an entire world, in the middle of Cuckoo Luckoo Land, in the most radical experience of collective shock, loss and grieving the world has probably ever witnessed. We are all in the place I described so long ago when I first stepped into the rabbit hole with Russell that dropped me into a dark world. It’s like Alice’s Wonderland only wayyy darker and more confusing. What I wrote 5 years ago of my experience of this place after Russell got sick and died is eerily true of what our world finds itself collectively living in today.

In Cuckoo Luckoo Land, not only are things bizarre and weird, but even the most joyous of events like birthdays and holidays are twined up with pain, confusion, and grief. It is such a bizarro place. What’s up is down. What’s in is over. What’s under is out. What’s out is in between. There are no clear opposites. There is no straight forward path to get from here to there. There is a little of everything in life – light, darkness, pain, joy, hope, despair, love, loss – and you never know which you will find as wander the dark, twisty paths of this place. It’s simply Cuckoo Luckoo!

Walking along through life, in this new reality, we don’t know where the next rabbit hole might be. Just when we think we have a “new normal” figured out, the world spins and down the hole we go again. These are the hidden places that we drop into, often sliding as fast as lightning down into a warren of twisted up paths. The trip down into a hole feels like someone suddenly and without warning has pushed us down a really steep slide greased with oil. It is almost impossible to do anything on this slide but breathe. In this space we can feel like we must be on hallucinogenic drugs, as everything is very, very twisted up and confusing in this space. Following one path that seems to be going forward can lead to a multitude of paths going in every direction.

Am I less afraid and more awake because I am stronger than you? NO. I feel less afraid and feel more awake because this Land is soooo familiar to me. I know that those dark corners just around the bend don’t necessarily hold more things to fear, but might actually hold the answers we just can’t see yet. The whispers in the dark aren’t always the demons of our fear and our nightmares. Some of those whispers in the dark, are the wisdom and warrior parts of ourselves seeking to remind us that we are far stronger than we’ve ever imagined.

I walk this time with confidence because I know, I mean REALLY KNOW, that I can survive walking through this place and even find ways to thrive. I believe I walk with less fear strangling me each day because I was offered the gift of grieving within a community and surrounded with abundant love for so long that my heart felt like it was that love acting as a light to lead my way through the dark paths of Cuckoo Luckoo Land. I have walked this place before and survived what once seemed unimaginable to survive.

Am I afraid? Oh yes, I am. The thoughts of fear about $, getting sick, others getting sick, when will the answers come, how long will this last, etc., etc. niggle at my mind and my heart. When those fears take hold of me I escape to Netflix or scrolling Facebook and Pinterest, or eating too much. But, do I know I can survive my fear? OH HELL YES! I stand in this knowing I am a Warrior for love and hope BECAUSE I have walked in Cuckoo Luckoo Land before and I have come out the other side.

I didn’t survive because I was stronger than anyone else. I survived because I have gathered tools and wisdom along my life journey that could help me navigate through the darkest of paths. I have learned to feel my feelings and focus just on my breath alone until I have the strength to move forward to the next place. I know the power of being willing to give and receive love and help from others along the way. I know how to listen to what feels okay for ME and tap into what is good and tap out of what isn’t without feeling the need to explain why to anyone.

The journey we are on is not a straight forward one. It will twist and turn and flip us all around as we learn to navigate this new reality. We will move through shock and fear and anger and helplessness and joy and determination sadness and hope and loss and defeat and gratitude and grief and love, over and over and over and over again. Slowly but surely we will learn how to survive in this cuckoo luckoo space of time. We will figure out how much we need each other and how strong we really can be. We will walk this road together.

Though radically different circumstances, I have walked this road in Cuckoo Luckoo Land before and I have come out the other side. The path ahead of us maybe a very long, twisty, dark one but I am ready to walk with you every step of the way, sharing my tools with any who want them. I believe in our strength and our resilience and can see the glimmers of light on the other side. I believe we are not alone and that we will one day walk out of this place. I believe because I stand here having survived this place before.

How Will I Show Up?

March 22, 2020WarriorLara

highest self

How will I show up?

This is the question I am pondering this week as I navigate my way through anxiety around the massive unknowns right now, flashbacks to 5 years ago which also was a very dark time, a hopeful belief that somehow all will be well and a deep desire to not lose who I am and who I most want to be in this time, this moment. The whole world has stepped into Cuckoo Luckoo Land, the place I’ve written of where things are not only inside out, they are upside down, outside in, twisted up and ever spinning. Eerily, I know how to walk in this place. Heck, I can even walk in this place as if I own it when I remember who I am.

I am a survivor. I am a traveler of the dark places of the soul. I am a writer who can find words in these dark places. I am a light for others who walk these dark places alongside me. I am a grounding rod for the swirl that threatens to spin us out of control. I am a mystic who can move beyond the veils of what is to see the possibilities of what could be. I am a woman who finds joy in the simplest of things. I am a believer that we are all far more powerful than we will ever know. I am a hope dealer who believes in the immense power of health and healing. I am a Warrior who does not allow the darkest places of Cuckoo Luckoo Land to ever completely forget how powerful and beautiful we all are.

So, how will I show up in this communal time of walking in Cuckoo Luckoo Land? I will show up as a Warrior for light, hope, and belief that we WILL survive this. I will show up believing we are all doing the best we can with a whole ton of uncertainty. I will show up sharing whatever glimmers of hope, health and healing I can. I will show up honoring everyone who is digging deep to be light bringers, healers and hope dealers. I will show up staying true to who I AM! ☀️

World, we have got this! 💖💪💖

Dear World, You May Keep Revolving

November 25, 2019November 25, 2019WarriorLara

heart

Today was the first Big Day – anniversary or birthday or holiday – since Russell died 4 plus years ago that the driving thought all day wasn’t “World, WTF? How are you still revolving? Russell isn’t here! Everything should stop!” It was the first Big Day I didn’t brace myself from beginning to end waiting for the crash into the darker, despairing side of memories. It was the first Big Day I didn’t feel the need at the very start of it to “rally” my troops and make specific mention of what is missing. It was the first Big Day that I just moved through my day with flashes of memories that brought only smiles, joy, love and peace.

Big Days are WICKED hard for people who are grieving. And, those Big Days stay wicked hard farrrrr longer than the first year that the world seems to think is the “okay” time to grieve and be sad. It’s incredibly hard to understand how the world doesn’t come to a screeching halt, when it feels like that is exactly what our hearts have done. I’m at the tail end of year 4 and just now experiencing a Big Day as one I can simply breathe with love and joy through, without expectations that the entire world stop for the day. 4, ALMOST 5, YEARS! And I am in no way the exception.

We MUST find ways to love people as fiercely in the years after that first one as we do in the first shocking one. We must gently walk with people with compassion and patience until they one day walk through a Big Day without a thread of pain woven throughout. We must allow people their own journeys, in their own time no matter where they are. We must remember that grief has no time frame or blueprint for how to navigate through it.

So tonight Dear World, thank you for continuing to ebb and flow around me as I navigate this still new, often strange journey I find myself on. Thank you World, for loving me gently, fiercely, unendingly as I dance my dance between joy and sorrow, dark and light, love and loss. Dear World, you may keep revolving.

When you lose your mojo…

August 20, 2019WarriorLara

beachme

Stream of consciousness writing is one of the things I usually reserve for my journal only. As inspired as I usually feel when I write one of my musings, they tend to write themselves almost completely in my head before I put them into my blog. Not this morning. My mind has been such a muddle the past week or so and I have no clear idea of what sent me spiraling down into the land of muckity muck but there I am. Stuck, not really caring that I’m stuck, and yet feeling ickity enough that I want out.

I’ve created some amazing things in my life. I consider myself a successful, inspired, dedicated to going after my dreams kind of person. I think I am resilient, creative, resourceful and can be hard working. I can usually motivate myself to go after what I want but also love the support of a community. The last few years especially I have done some awesome things, especially in light of the dark thread that has woven through our lives.

You know what though, I am tired. I don’t mean physically tired really as I am finally getting enough sleep most nights. I mean emotionally, mentally, energetically tired. I mean to the bone tired. Actually deeper than that even. I am weary of being strong, of going after bigger dreams, of working, of staying connected, of trying to figure it all out, of trying to be the absolute best I can be, of doing anything more than just being in each moment. I am afraid I have not only set aside my mojo, but that I have somehow completely lost it. I am tired.

This exhaustion is leaving me with such a pervasive “whatever” mentality that I actually feel like I am going backwards in creating the life I want for myself and my family. Oh, I am still going through the bare minimum things I need to do to stay afloat but striving to really create a life of massive financial and time abundance – pfffttt! That doesn’t seem to be happening right now. I’m too tired.

I don’t even want to think about or do the things that I know may pull me up and out of this funky place. Because when I am just resting in the place of being tired and not sure if I want to be a massive go-getter anymore, I feel less tired. There is a peace in that space. And then, I wonder if maybe I don’t REALLY want to be a massive go-getter. Maybe, I just want to find a job that has insurance and a 401k, so I don’t have to constantly worry about these things. Maybe I just want to go do my hours and then be done for the day. Maybe I don’t want to do the constant work needed to create new businesses, even though I love coaching and retreat facilitating. Maybe I am too tired to be constantly dreaming, doing and creating. Maybe I am too tired because I’m done being in charge of everything in my life and I just want to be a minion for awhile.

There are lots of maybes and lots of things to explore within this muckity muck place. While I am here I will do what I can. While I am here I will write all the muckity muck in my journal. While I am here I will be gentle with myself and trust that I won’t be here forever. While I am here I will try to just be curious about all that is rising up in me. While I am here I will do at least 1 thing each day that gets me moving just a little. While I am here I will be grateful that I have my writing which provides some magical relief for me. While I am here I will just be tired and focus on one thing at a time, without expectation that I do a million things each day. While I am here I will love myself and know that I am doing the best that I can even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Crossing the Bridge: From Here to There

April 11, 2019WarriorLara

ropebridge

Life doesn’t really happen in big leaps. Don’t get me wrong. I do firmly believe that we have to take big leaps of faith throughout our lives to get to the life we dream of living. But those big leaps are really just one moment in a long line of choices and actions that stretch behind and in front of us. They are scary to make for sure because going into the leap we have to take such deep breaths and tap into such radical trust that all will be well, even when we can’t see the other side.

What I am finding after having taken the big leap a few months ago to make the choice to step away from being the owner/manager of Avalon is that this transition time is wayyyyy harder than taking that first giant step towards a new dream and a new life. I’ve never, in all of my life, made a decision to end one job to head towards another one that then created such a HUGE transition time. The maximum was probably 3 weeks for past jobs. This transition, from the moment my decision became public to the day I’ve set as my last day, is 4 months. The swirl and dissonance and herky jerky movement this is creating for me is almost unbearable some days.

This is what I experience happens when we take those big leaps to move from the here of our life to the there of our life we dream of. You want to be there, in that place of new possibility and joy, but you are here, in the place that no longer resonates as deeply into your heart as it once did. Once you make the decision to step onto a new path the amount of testing and resistance that arises out of that part of you that doesn’t’ want to change is HUGE! It can feel as if the universe and everything around is conspiring against you.

What I really think is happening is that your excited, dreaming self is wanting to run to the other side right now. Your fear, stay in the comfortable self is trying to tell you to stay. And every single thing in your life becomes an opportunity to get crystal clear about what you really want, what you really dream of, what you really believe in and how committed you are to the big leap choice you have just put out to the world. Everything becomes layered with more emotion, more thoughts, more confusion, more possibility, and on and on and on.

The journey, then, from here to there is more like crossing a shaky, way too high in the air, questionable rope bridge than a mere leap from one side to the next. Every step is a question – will you stay shaking here on place in this very uncomfortable limbo land; will you turn and run back to the “safety” of what you know; or will you keep stepping forward inch by inch no matter how scary it feels knowing that your deepest self is already on the other side waiting for you.

All you can do; well, I should really say all I can do is breathe and hold onto the pockets of joy and complete sense of rightness that will pop up every step of the way. Staying in the excitement of the new path that is unfolding is far more enjoyable and life giving than being consumed by the fear within and swirling all around you. Trust that the bridge will hold and you will get to the other side if all you do is simply keep moving foward.

BREATHE, TRUST, AND STAY IN THE JOY!!!

Just Breathe – All will be well and All is well

March 11, 2019WarriorLara

keepbreathing

When I left teaching high school at Althoff 20 years ago to be home full-time with my kids, I never thought I’d find something to do as work that I loved so much. For years, I didn’t but poured my heart and soul into homeschooling my kids and being the best mom that I could. Then, almost 12 years ago, along came Avalon. To say that I fell in love with this place is putting it mildly. It really was love at first sight as I drove into the farm that first day just curious to find a horse farm nestled back in here. Avalon will always be considered by me as one of the great loves of my life. My kids, Russell and Avalon – those three have held my heart in hugely transformational ways.

As Avalon grew from a handful of folks who bought into my dreams to the massive community of 100s of people who now are able to see beyond the mists of the world to magic that is here, my heart has grown with joy and love and awe that I’ve gotten to be part of something a rare few experience in their lifetime. There really are not enough words I will ever be able to pull from my Muse to share what this place and this community has meant to me.

For the past 4 years especially, you all have been my hands, my life lines, and in many ways the keepers of my heart. There is NO WAY that what this farm, this community has become, nor what I am becoming, would have happened without all of you after Russell got sick and died. For that I am grateful beyond measure and love each and everyone of you for the role you have played in our dream like transformation.

Now, it is time for me to pick up the pieces of my heart and allow the heart of Avalon to be cared for by others who love her. I have been stuck in a swirly, stagnated place for a long time and that has begun to leave Avalon stuck in many ways. I am ready for a massive shake up and so is Avalon. I am ready to stop defining my life as before Russell’s death and after Russell’s death. That has kept me stuck in ways I can barely articulate but I NEED to change in order to live a life filled with joy and purpose and love. I deserve that and all of Avalon deserves to have someone who is deeply in love with all of it as I used to be. It is time for new leaps forward to be taken and that means some deeper changes must be made.

For 3 plus years I have been writing in my journals of a new vision for Avalon and myself. In that vision I let go of the managing of Avalon. For 3 years I’ve been writing of my desire to be a coach, facilitate retreats and workshops out of Avalon Sanctuary, of being free to write and follow my genius work. That genius work does not include stall cleaning or worrying about frozen hoses. 😊

For me to continue to love this land, the horses, and all of you it is time for me to step away from being the manager/owner of Avalon Horse Farm. I am ready to grow in radical new ways for my personal and family healing and my financial health. Avalon Horse Farm is also primed and ready for its’ next big leap forward into even bigger and better things. I am not the one to lead the way there. I simply cannot do it anymore. The farm tasks and daily stress of keeping this farm going physically and financially drain me to the point there is no extra energy left for all of the things I most love and what I believe to be my greatest gifts to the world.

While I have dreamed of making changes for 3 years, it wasn’t time until now. Only now, has someone spoken the words I needed to hear to be ready to let go of this part of my heart and trust that all would be well. I have every confidence there are many who would have said yes to doing what needed to be done to keep things running. But only recently has someone stepped forward saying it is a heart dream to one day be the caretaker of Avalon, out of a place of love, joy and deep desire to keep dream weaving and building the magic of Avalon. In that speaking a door opened to taking grand leaps of faith.

Emily wants this farm as much as I wanted it 12 years ago. She wants it for all that is and all that her dreaming self can already envision. Her dreams are wrapped in love and joy for the farm, the creatures and the amazing community. She is ready to pick up the torch that I am ready to pass. On July 1st, Avalon will become hers. She is excited and scared and so much more I am sure cannot be named. The core team is already meeting to begin new dreaming while helping make our transition as smooth as we possibly can. The greatest joy for me is that Avalon will continue with love, respect, amazing care for its’ creatures and the land, and new ideas will be able to flourish with new eyes and new hands to make it so. Watching Emily’s joy at stepping into making her dream a reality is so exciting to me. She will rock it!

I will be continuing to live in the cottage and keep a couple of my horse here. I am dreaming of continuing to offer retreats, workshops, private healing coaching, book clubs and other spiritual opportunities out of Avalon Sanctuary. I’m keeping the tractor in my name for the farm community to use and for me to volunteer my services while I play on the tractor I love. I am excited to be just a volunteer and be part of the community in ways that feel good for all of us. I have EVERY confidence that the amazing core team will continue to support Emily and make Avalon be the best, most magical horse farm it can be.

The words thank you will never be enough to express my gratitude for this community. The core team has helped me keep things going in ways seen and unseen. Avalon would have crumbled years ago if it wasn’t for Denise, Nikki, John, Lynette, Carrie, Mike and Emily. These people have helped with every aspect of keeping the farm and me going for years. THANK YOU! For each and every one of you who are part of this community and have done your part to make it function and grow, thank you! Your support, your dedication, your work, your playfulness and your belief in me and Avalon is part of the magic of this place. Together, we have created something that is outside of this world. That’s a powerful thing.

There will be many more writings from me I am sure as I move forward in the next few months. My Muse has been waiting for permission to speak of this new journey and she is ready to go. For now, know I am here to talk, to listen, to be with all of you, to dream, and to reassure you that all will be well. Because ALL WILL BE WELL AND ALL IS WELL! As you settle into this new information please know that I am here, Emily is here and the core team is here to answer questions and help ease the fear that naturally comes with any change. Change is scary but it can also be an amazing time for new growth.

This is going to be amazing for ALL OF US!

2019 – Year of the Phoenix Warrior

December 27, 2018WarriorLara

2019 – Year of the Phoenix Warrior

What will you create for your new year? Who do you want to become and be?

Intention setting is one of my favorite things to do. For years, I have set an intention or a theme for myself at the beginning of each year. Rather than declare specific new year’s resolutions that I often leave in the dust within a month or two, I pick what energy I want to create for my life in the upcoming year. Then throughout the entire year, I thread that energy, that theme, that intention into all that I do.

Interestingly four years ago at this exact time, the final Christmas /New Year’s week that Russell Peterson was still with us, I set my intention for the upcoming year as “Let go and just breathe”. There was much in our lives that was in chaos and disarray to a very deep level and I knew I had to let go of a whole lot to create something new. Of course, little did I know at the time, how that mantra “Let go and Just Breathe” would become the strength I needed to survive the hardest time of my life.

Setting intentions can be weird and kind of magical that way. There is a stirring that goes inside of me, and I believe most of us, of a deeper knowing what we need to move ever closer to our most authentic selves. Sometimes I listen to her and sometimes I don’t. This time of year in which there is the cool blend of letting go of one year and getting ready to step into a new one, I allow myself to listen pretty closely to what is needed to get even more real.

This year has been the Year of the Warrior for me and there have been some badass, wonder woman, mother of dragons kind of movements. Mounted archery, running a 5k, starting a new career as a health coach filled with passion and purpose, doing my first horse shows, holding warrior woman retreats, and axe throwing are just a few of this year’s awesome adventures. The ways in which these have changed me is kind of amazing.

2019 is going to be the Year of The Phoenix Warrior for me. I am rising more strongly every single day from the ashes of the past several years. All of what those years have been for me – sorrow and joy, peace and despair, love and loss, light and darkness – come with me as part of who I am. But they will not leave me bogged down in the ashes anymore. I am dreaming big, bold dreams for my life and the lives of my kids. I am working daily to learn how to fly with these new, powerful wings that my warrior has formed. I am becoming more disciplined and determined to be my absolute healthiest, bravest, and most loving self. I am letting go of the fears I have of what others will think and simply speaking what is in my heart, knowing others will choose to journey along with me if it is right for them. I am flying with purpose, passion and joy towards a life of abundance in finances and in experiences.

I believe that I truly can create the life of my biggest dreams. I WILL do what it takes to make that happen and by this time next year will have an even more amazing story of life transformation than I do right now.

I am a Warrior. I am a Phoenix. I am a Phoenix Warrior!

Watch me fly or fly with me – the choice is yours!