What if you fail?

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We’ve probably all heard the question “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” I’m quite sure I’ve answered this question a bazillion times in my journals and on vision boards. But now I ask a new question, a flip of the coin, to this famous one.
First read in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book ” Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear”, I now ask “What would I do even if I knew that I might very well fail?” I agree with Elizabeth that it is a fiercer question and one that is radically shaping my world right now. It plays over and over in my mind as I choose to do those things that bring me consistent joy, even in the moments of “failure” that are inevitable with following authentic, life long paths of joy seeking.
Without a doubt, it is quite evident that I choose to “do” horses even in the midst of daily “failures”. Heck running a horse farm means constantly remaining open to trying new things, having tried and true methods not work, and still doing it because of that magical love with a horse. I simply can’t imagine a life without them, nor can most of the horse folks I know, even though we are loons to put up with all we do surrounding them.

My current path of new adventures with Phoenix is a daily endeavor in becoming more humble, more trusting, more brave, and more creative as I step into worlds I’ve only been a witness to for a very long time. Tomorrow will be our first dressage show ever, for both of us. We are the very first dressage ride of the day (at 9:00am if you want to watch) and we aren’t really ready. We are both still noodly and simply trying to trust one another. We will probably walk the entire dressage test, though we are supposed to trot at least half of it, simply because in that mode we trust each other, stay in sync and look pretty balanced. As far as the test is concerned, walking the whole thing will be a fail. But, we are doing it anyway because I am loving this horse, he is at least liking me, and I want us to do things together that I have never done before. I don’t care if we fail because I will love every single moment doing it with him. We are rising into a new life together.

This horse, this sweet sweet living Phoenix, is the clearest symbol of me embracing so many new things that leave me acting from my heart. Facilitating retreats, coaching others through their own health transformations, writing, and teaching are things I LOVE to do. There will be ongoing moments that feel like failures in all of these areas but that’s okay. I’m going to do them anyway. Because I WILL live a life from my heart and not from my fear of failing.
What do you love so much you would do it even if you knew you might fail? Go do those things!

 

You Will Run

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We spend so much of our lives trying to figure out what is a good fit for us.  We research what car to buy, what trip to take, what movie to watch, what books to read, and so, so much more.  Sometimes we think about things for months and months, worried about making the wrong decision.  And sometimes we get so stuck in our thinking things through that we lose tons time because we are living our lives out of a fear filled space of “getting it wrong.”

I have been there and done that.  Heck, I am still there and doing that several times each week in so many ways.  I wonder if I am “ready” for things and spin my wheels getting trapped in the monkey mind places inside of me.  Those places that it is near impossible to move forward because I just get more and more twisted up the longer I “think things through”.

What I am gratefully starting to learn is that when we finally are ready to change our lives and make them ones we love, we will run to whatever lifeline is being thrown out to us.  In fact, for me, it has stopped being about feeling I am completely “ready” and deciding that I will seek joy, freedom and good things for myself no matter what.  I am grabbing onto those things that catch my attention, even if I don’t completely understand why.

There comes a time when we are so tired of living a life of feeling stuck and just icky, that nothing else matters but making things better.  Cost doesn’t matter. Time constraints that are real or imagined don’t matter.  Staying in a job we loathe no longer matters. Others’ opinions don’t matter. The history of our lives doesn’t matter. Researching things ad nauseum doesn’t matter.  What we’ve always done doesn’t matter.  All of the things that keep us stuck in our bodies, minds and spirits stop mattering because we finally decide something, anything, has got to change.

At this point, all that matters is running as fast and as strongly as we can towards a life that is filled with the hope of freedom, joy, and possibility.  We latch onto that hope like the life line it is to pull us from our lives of pain and sorrow.  We wrap that hope around us like a cloak of love for ourselves, knowing we deserve it; or at least willing to learn to live into that belief.   We run even with the babiest of steps towards something more.

We are all worth living lives of joy, health and hope.   I hope you RUN towards the choices best for you that will open the doors to that kind of a life.