Always see the MAGIC

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MAGIC – I hope and pray every single day that I will always believe that there is magic alive in this world. I’m sure I will as long as I continue to be part of things like yesterday as the very land of Avalon seemed to pulse with it from beginning to end. It was if a giant bell had been rung upon first light of the sun that sent reverberations through the horses, the people, and the land itself throughout the entire day.
This is the MAGIC I hear and feel to some extent everyday that I am part of Avalon. From the first moment I stepped my foot onto this property, I could hear and feel the land speak to me, no more like sing to me a song meant just for me. It’s weird to me to talk of it at times as it feels so twilight zoney and foreign to world that seeks to have such tangible proof of things. But yesterday and now this morning, the MAGIC continues to sing to me and through me so powerfully I am alternating between laughing and crying with joy and amazement.
Watching people come to Avalon and hear for even a short amount of time the MAGIC song that is there always leaves me feeling humbled and awed that I get to part of something so much bigger than a horse farm. I love the events themselves and watching people ride their horses to personal successes is wonderful. But it is watching people smile and laugh while they volunteer or compete or watch their loved ones compete that leaves me a tingle with love that seems to expand forth from the deepest part of my heart. I open myself up to feel all that energy and channel it right back through my heart to reconnect with all that is Avalon.

Beyond, so far beyond, my desire for us to create successful events is my desire for us of the Avalon community to create a place where people realize, or rather remember, MAGIC is alive in our world. It is the MAGIC of love, connection, community over competition, hope, joy, patience, humility, respect, learning, and always seeking to do things just a bit better than the time before.

This is the life I want to lead – a life that ALWAYS see the MAGIC in this world, in its’ creatures and in the humans who walk it with me. Every single day I want this to be my focus, no matter what swirly places my mind and the tasks that can weigh on me seek to take me.

I tell you what, I may not always get things right and I may not always handle the things in my life as well I would like, but that’s okay because I know I am always striving to grow and become a better friend, leader, mother, daughter, and person. Plus, I can see MAGIC at work in the world around me and I can hear the land that holds a large piece of my heart sing. How AMAZINGLY cool is that!

 

Place of Readiness

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It is in this place at Avalon, by our pond, that I’ve just written for the past hour and a half. Writing, for the first time, of my slide into Cuckoo Luckoo land 18 months ago today and putting into words my memory of that day.

I wrote not out of a painful place but rather out of a place of readiness. Another door was opened, another layer of my cocoon peeled away this afternoon. The compulsion to write came over me so fiercely as I was driving I almost pulled off the road to write in that spot. But I knew I needed to be here, at Avalon, on land that is Sanctuary for me. So I wrote in my head and waited.

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It’s not time to share the story of that day out loud yet. It was enough to write it, knowing that when I write my book the story will need to be told.

I am breathing deeply and freely in awe of the Muse gift that comes to me. I am smiling as I stand barefoot upon the grass I just laid upon writing of Russell and our story. As I write this story I feel him cheering me on, believing in me as he always did.

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In this time, this moment I am filled with love and light as I continue my journey through the shadowlands. I know I am not alone.

 

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Healing and Brave – An invitation

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Wow, what a difference one year can make in our journeys!  A year ago I shared one of the most raw musings I wrote in my healing journey. It popped up this morning on my Facebook memory feed and I’ve been reflecting upon it all day.

I wrote of being broken and afraid of many, many things.  The dark places of loss, confusion, grief, anger, etc. where my Kraken swims was the landscape I swam through at this time last year.  The deep, dark places of those waters often left me feeling very alone and so very lost.   Everything in my life felt like it was hovering on a precipice ready to vanish forever.

I wrote…”In the end it doesn’t really matter when the breaking began. What matters is the here and now.  And in this time, in this moment I feel broken and afraid. I feel as if all of the pieces of myself – my heart, my soul, my physical body, my gifts, my strengths, my weaknesses – all that I am is laying jumbled around my feet in a million tiny pieces.  All of it is scattered around me waiting for me to reassemble it all into some kind of cohesive whole again.”

Today I live most often in the light places, filled with hope and curiosity about what comes next.  Oh the dark places still thread throughout my being and rise up at odd moments as I think of missing Russell and the life we shared.  But each day I am making more and more choices to become stronger, more joyful, filled with gratitude and possibility.  I find that even on the darker days I don’t fall into the depths quite as far or as long.  And I am able to soar with my butterfly dragon more and more often.

Healing is possible.  Holding the pieces of my being – light and dark, hope and sadness, loss and connection – together in one magical piece has become a part of my daily dance.  I no longer fear the things I shared in last year’s writing.  I am doing the best that I can to live my life wholeheartedly and trust that all will be well.  I have come far in reassembling the pieces of myself into a cohesive whole.  No longer do they lay jumbled at my feet. Instead I can actually feel the pieces fitting back together piece by piece by piece.

As I become stronger I find myself wanting to walk with others on their own healing journeys. I find myself wanting to share the wisdom and the tools that have helped me along my healing journey. I wish to share the healing power of the horses, the community and the land at Avalon that has held me in sacred space all along the way.

The next steps on my journey include creating opportunities for people to come to Avalon and hear what wisdom the horses have to share with them.  I am creating Equine Facilitated Learning workshops that will open the new possibilities for people to heal, hope and live more authentic lives.  If all goes as planned the first of these workshops will begin in the fall.  If you are interested in receiving more information I invite you to send me a note in the comment section and I will include you on our mailing list.

In this time, in this moment I am filled with gratitude for all of the ways I have healed in this past year.  I am ready to see what the future holds!

 

If you are interested in reading last year’s blog to see how far I have come click here. Thanks for sharing in my journey.  https://larapeterson.com/2015/06/30/broken-and-afraid/

 

 

 

 

Avalon Speaks

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AVALON…

From the very first step I walked this land as if it was my own.

I could hear the land speak to me saying “Yes, this is yours. And you are mine.”

The trees sway in the breeze inviting me to join their dance.

The creatures of sky and land call this place home.

People enter here feeling their hearts lighten and expand.

Avalon is a land that sings to me of quieter things, of sunlit skies and magical nights.

The magic of this place wraps around me like a form fitting shield protecting me from the world outside.

It is here, in this place, when all is quiet and still that my heart heals one little bitty piece at a time.

When the bustle of the day is done and Avalon settles into stillness I can feel myself truly exhale.

Only in these times of solitude can I feel the jagged, separate pieces of myself try to ease back into place.

Avalon speaks of healing, grounding, dreaming, being.

Avalon is sanctuary.