Life doesn’t really happen in big leaps. Don’t get me wrong. I do firmly believe that we have to take big leaps of faith throughout our lives to get to the life we dream of living. But those big leaps are really just one moment in a long line of choices and actions that stretch behind and in front of us. They are scary to make for sure because going into the leap we have to take such deep breaths and tap into such radical trust that all will be well, even when we can’t see the other side.
What I am finding after having taken the big leap a few months ago to make the choice to step away from being the owner/manager of Avalon is that this transition time is wayyyyy harder than taking that first giant step towards a new dream and a new life. I’ve never, in all of my life, made a decision to end one job to head towards another one that then created such a HUGE transition time. The maximum was probably 3 weeks for past jobs. This transition, from the moment my decision became public to the day I’ve set as my last day, is 4 months. The swirl and dissonance and herky jerky movement this is creating for me is almost unbearable some days.
This is what I experience happens when we take those big leaps to move from the here of our life to the there of our life we dream of. You want to be there, in that place of new possibility and joy, but you are here, in the place that no longer resonates as deeply into your heart as it once did. Once you make the decision to step onto a new path the amount of testing and resistance that arises out of that part of you that doesn’t’ want to change is HUGE! It can feel as if the universe and everything around is conspiring against you.
What I really think is happening is that your excited, dreaming self is wanting to run to the other side right now. Your fear, stay in the comfortable self is trying to tell you to stay. And every single thing in your life becomes an opportunity to get crystal clear about what you really want, what you really dream of, what you really believe in and how committed you are to the big leap choice you have just put out to the world. Everything becomes layered with more emotion, more thoughts, more confusion, more possibility, and on and on and on.
The journey, then, from here to there is more like crossing a shaky, way too high in the air, questionable rope bridge than a mere leap from one side to the next. Every step is a question – will you stay shaking here on place in this very uncomfortable limbo land; will you turn and run back to the “safety” of what you know; or will you keep stepping forward inch by inch no matter how scary it feels knowing that your deepest self is already on the other side waiting for you.
All you can do; well, I should really say all I can do is breathe and hold onto the pockets of joy and complete sense of rightness that will pop up every step of the way. Staying in the excitement of the new path that is unfolding is far more enjoyable and life giving than being consumed by the fear within and swirling all around you. Trust that the bridge will hold and you will get to the other side if all you do is simply keep moving foward.
BREATHE, TRUST, AND STAY IN THE JOY!!!