Vanity or Health? Which will I choose?

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“Vanity or Health?” Which will I choose? You’ve got to read to the end to find out. 😂

It’s about radical self-love. 💖

Okay, deep breath 🌬️ and in I go, into being crazy vulnerable and really real about something that’s been holding me back. I’m ready to dive deeper into what my healthiest self could look like; a self whose body feels so free and amazing I can barely imagine it right now. But, I have to choose – my vanity or my healthiest self.

You see, it’s my vanity about my face that has been winning for a long time. I spent 12 years working a horse farm. No amount of sun screen was ever enough to completely protect my skin. I knew one day I’d have tons of face wrinkles because of it. I just didn’t think it would be so soon. Since I’ve lost 53 pounds I can really notice it. And wowza, has it stopped me in my tracks. No way have I wanted to lose more weight and look like a prune. Even if losing more weight could be really good for the rest of my body.

Some of the thoughts that have pinged through my brain during this internal debate have really revealed how much further I can go to radically love myself exactly as I am.

“If I want to date again who would want a wrinkle faced woman?”

“Do I really need to lose more weight, even if I know it could be great for my aging body?”

“Will I get ugly?”

“Should I put more weight back on to plump out my face again?” (Answer is always, NO WAY!)

“Am I seriously this obsessed with physical appearance?”

“Am I in any way attractive anymore?”

“I miss my 25 year old self.”

 

WOWZA! I am a HUGE proponent for everyone to love themselves exactly as they are. I am a HUGE proponent for making choices that help us create our best selves. I am a HUGE proponent for recognizing our SELF is about soooo much more than our bodies.

I am also, quite clearly, a woman who is trying to believe in herself more, recognize her worth, find her beauty again, and radically love every part – the dark, the light, the wrinkled, the strong, the weak – ALL OF ME!

So, I am choosing my health! I am learning to love my wrinkles for the stories they tell. I am going all into turn my body into its strongest, healthiest, most Badass self. I am choosing to believe I am beautiful. I am wrapping myself in the love, hope and healing I strive to bring to everyone else.

That means my goal, now spoken publicly, is to lose the final 15lbs I’ve been considering losing by my birthday on July 30. Get ready to watch my journey as I go for my finish line! 💪💪💪💪

I can help!

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I CAN HELP! I CAN HELP! I CAN HELP!

I PROMISE!

You’ve watched my journey. Some of you for a few months and some for years. You know I strive to be as authentic and honest as I can. You also probably know I don’t make promises mildly.

But I will promise you this – if you are desiring to make a change in your life, in your body, mind, spirit or finances I can help. The program I have found is AMAZING and completely transforming my life. And I know it can do the same for others who are ready for more.

If you want more energy – I can help.
If you want better sleep – I can help.
If you want to eat in a more balanced way-I can help
If you want more body freedom – I can help.
If you want a healthier mindset – I can help
If you want to lose weight – I can help.
If you want to create more purpose in your life – I
can help.
If you want to help others – I can help.
If you want some extra cash – I can help.

I promise I WILL help you create a healthier life whenever you are ready. I WILL be here ready to explore what is possible for you. And, I WILL journey with you the entire way.

You can do it! And I will help every step of the way!

Are you ready?

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Where do YOU want to be in the next 6 months, the next year, the next 5 years? What are you willing to do and invest in in order to become that person? What are you willing to say is worth it to do for YOU?!

I’ve got a growing fascination with the belief I have inside myself that if it’s for my kids paying for their growth is not only worth it, it’s necessary. Classes for them, health care for them, supporting their passions – all of these I’ve barely blinked at figuring out how to make happen.

But for me, my first response is often I don’t have the time or money for that. Maybe another time. Why am I not worth investing my time and money in me? The money I am earning? The growth I need to create my best life which will also benefit my kids? What message am I giving my kids about adult self-care if I say no to the things I really want to do and that will help me become my best self? 🤔🤔

These are the things I wonder about as I strive to constantly be growing. I’m learning to place higher value on my health, growth and development needs than I have given myself permission to do in the past. I pay for a counselor for my kids AND myself. I buy healthy foods for myself AND my kids. I invest money in my growth AND for my kids. I am worth spending money and time on things that will make me grow.

What could your life look like if you said yes to you more often? You would do it for your kids so why not for yourself? You’re worth doing it for yourself. You cannot become all you want to be until you believe you are worth your own time and money.

Sift through the jumble

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Because I no longer use food or Netflix to cover up my emotions, I am becoming ever more adept in sorting through the jumble my emotions can create.

Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, we have to step away from things we’ve become too twined around that we can no longer give our best selves to. We can get so twisted up inside ourselves energetically, mentally and physically that we can step dangerously close to becoming a toxin for the very thing we have so lovingly created. We can become the very thing we’ve worked so hard to keep out of our happy places.

Then, if we are really lucky, we can find ways to sift through all of the jumbled mess and begin to pull out the threads that no longer fit into who we are and who we are becoming. What an absolutely magical thing this can be as it leaves more possibility for joy and dream weaving.

My journey through letting go of being Avalon’s caretaker is just such a journey. My exhaustion wasn’t from the work of the farm. It wasn’t from the creatures. It wasn’t from the community. It was all from ME and my own unwillingness to say, for too long, I needed something different for me. My exhaustion was from battling myself and trying to ignore the rising new dreams. That exhaustion came dangerously close to pissing all over the magical things created in Avalon’s first 12 years.

Tonight, I stepped back into teaching kids with horses, which has always been one of my great joys. I stepped back in with my favorite young Avalonian, Allie, and Miss Penny, who seems to adore children. They were amazing together! As I watched these two really work at listening to one another I realized I can just BE happy at Avalon with horses again. And I can share that joy out of love and aliveness, not out of necessity.

I’m so unbelievably grateful for the things unfolding in my life right now, all because I said YES to losing some weight to get healthier. Little did I know 2 years ago how much I would gain in this complete health transformation for ALL areas of my life.

So, in addition to Transformational Coaching, I will be available to teach kids and women simply seeking connections to horses a few hours a week. Homeschoolers are especially welcome as I have lots more day free time.
Be brave and untwine the icky parts of your life that you are creating. When you do, you might just find the magic and gold buried underneath. 💖💖💖

Beach Joy

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“We’re not unhealthy because we eat too much. We’re unhealthy because of WHY we eat too much.”
4 years difference in these beach pictures. 4 years of living through so much self exploration – both the darker and the lighter parts of myself. 4 years of learning I am worth the BEST choices I can make for my health and my life. 4 years of moving through grief and learning not to eat my feelings. 4 years of moving from struggling to find pockets of joy to living joy easily.

The 53lbs I’ve lost and kept off in the last year has been AMAZING. What I have gained – energy, body movement, better sleep, clearer mind – are even better. The BEST is the new found purpose for my life as I help others find freedom for their body, minds, spirits and finances.
The joy you see in my 2019 photo isn’t just for the photo. It’s for my whole, reclaimed self who is saying 100%. YES to her healthier self!

Can it? Will it?

 

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Can it work for me? Will it work for me?

These are the two questions I hear the most when I explore people’s dreams for their health with them. Heck, they were the questions I asked myself before I started on my amazing transformation path. They came from a place of fear and have now become the fuel of hope and belief I have for myself and for everyone ready for more.

“Can it work?” – YES! It can work for just about anyone. It’s a massively successful, comprehensive program designed to help people create lifelong, healthy habits one step at a time. Lose weight, less stress, more energy, get nutritionally balanced, release the grip of emotional and stress eating, sleep better, etc. CAN all happen.

“Will it work?” – MAYBE! The choice is yours, as it was mine. I’m not going to lie to you. It will only work if you put in the work. There were MANY times that I almost quit. The choice was mine if I was finally going to say enough to my pain, my exhaustion, my misery at not feeling like myself, my ever-increasing weight gain and living a life less than what I truly desired. The choice was mine to go for it and say YES to my best, healthiest self.

If people are willing to do the work and work their plan, their plan not only can work, it WILL work. That means working it moment after moment, especially after the bumps in the road. It means keeping the reason you said YES to your health always in front of you, like a carrot leading the way. It means locking arms with me, knowing I WILL believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

It CAN work! It WILL work! You just have to say YES to taking the first step to explore what that can mean for you. I am ALL IN and ready to go.

ARE YOU READY?

It’s time to ACT

 

“We are the most obese, medicated, addicted, and in-debt Americans EVER!” Brene Brown

Brene Brown’s words shared below ring so true for me.  For decades, I “knew” all I needed to do to lose weight and get healthy.  I’d tried so many different paths each one with varying degrees of success.   I “knew” if I could focus on meal prepping consistently with lots of good protein, veggies and little starches it would do the trick.  But “knowing” did nothing for me, because I didn’t want to do meal prep all of the time. I didn’t want to think about food so much. I didn’t really want to do any of the extra stuff I’d need to do.

See the problem wasn’t what I “thought” I knew about food.  The problem wasn’t even what I judged to be laziness about meal prep on my part.   The real problem for my steady, deep decline into the darker places of my health was my emotions.   The depth and breadth of my overwhelm finally took over completely and I used food to mask, soothe, “heal”, reward and deal with all of the pain and stress in my life.

I for sure don’t beat myself up about any of those choices I made as I firmly believe that was doing the best I could throughout it all.  But wowza, am I ever grateful that I am learning to feel my feelings in every given moment, instead of feeding them with foods that leave me feeling worse than I did before I ate them.  It can be a harder road to travel at times, but most of the time it is a freeing, joyous one to journey.  And the reward is spectacular – a body and mind that is free to move through the feelings and not allow them to become barriers to growth.

From the Gifts of Imperfection…

“We know how to eat healthy.  We also know how to make good choices with our money. We know how to take care of our emotional needs. We know all of this, yet…

We are the most obese, medicated, addicted, and in-debt Americans EVER!

Why are we struggling like never before? Because we don’t talk about the things that get in the way of doing what we know is best for us, our children, our families and our communities.

We don’t talk about what keeps us eating until we’re sick, busy beyond human scale, desperate to numb and take the edge off, and full of so much anxiety and self-doubt that we don’t act on what we KNOW is best for us.”

 

YES, YES, YES!!!!!  It is time to ACT!!!