You Will Run

WarriorLara

phoenix1

We spend so much of our lives trying to figure out what is a good fit for us.  We research what car to buy, what trip to take, what movie to watch, what books to read, and so, so much more.  Sometimes we think about things for months and months, worried about making the wrong decision.  And sometimes we get so stuck in our thinking things through that we lose tons time because we are living our lives out of a fear filled space of “getting it wrong.”

I have been there and done that.  Heck, I am still there and doing that several times each week in so many ways.  I wonder if I am “ready” for things and spin my wheels getting trapped in the monkey mind places inside of me.  Those places that it is near impossible to move forward because I just get more and more twisted up the longer I “think things through”.

What I am gratefully starting to learn is that when we finally are ready to change our lives and make them ones we love, we will run to whatever lifeline is being thrown out to us.  In fact, for me, it has stopped being about feeling I am completely “ready” and deciding that I will seek joy, freedom and good things for myself no matter what.  I am grabbing onto those things that catch my attention, even if I don’t completely understand why.

There comes a time when we are so tired of living a life of feeling stuck and just icky, that nothing else matters but making things better.  Cost doesn’t matter. Time constraints that are real or imagined don’t matter.  Staying in a job we loathe no longer matters. Others’ opinions don’t matter. The history of our lives doesn’t matter. Researching things ad nauseum doesn’t matter.  What we’ve always done doesn’t matter.  All of the things that keep us stuck in our bodies, minds and spirits stop mattering because we finally decide something, anything, has got to change.

At this point, all that matters is running as fast and as strongly as we can towards a life that is filled with the hope of freedom, joy, and possibility.  We latch onto that hope like the life line it is to pull us from our lives of pain and sorrow.  We wrap that hope around us like a cloak of love for ourselves, knowing we deserve it; or at least willing to learn to live into that belief.   We run even with the babiest of steps towards something more.

We are all worth living lives of joy, health and hope.   I hope you RUN towards the choices best for you that will open the doors to that kind of a life.

BREATH & WINGS

WarriorLara

phoenix1

Horses are breath and wings to me. By their very presence they both ground me deep into myself while also helping me believe that I can soar.

I have named my new guy with this in mind. His name is Phoenix because he will be my wings as I continue to rise from the ashes of my life of the past few years, ready to fly into new adventures and new ways of living my life with radical joy and purpose. I wanted to name him something connected to dragons but everything was too heavy for this sweet, light filled little guy. Then Phoenix came to me ringing like a bell. Fire and light – yep that is him.

My Karoly has done so much to heal my heart over the past 3 1/2 years. Literally he has done my breathing for me at times. Especially early on after Russell died as I would stand with Karoly or sit on his bare back, Karoly would match my breath then he would slow us both down. My mantra “Just Breathe” seemed to pour out of him as he held all of my pain. He didn’t care that it was a massive, physical struggle to just clamber up onto him. (I think he appreciates that I’ve lost so much weight and am far more limber getting on.) He was just there to hold radically, love filled space for me throughout it all. It is one of his greatest gifts to all who come to know him. Just breathe he says with his very presence. Ahhhh!

karoly.jpg

Now, with a lighter body and a lighter heart, I am ready to fly a little bit more. Because of my health transformation, I can actually imagine doing things with horses again that I haven’t been able to do in years. I am ready to really ride, not just be a passenger up there. That is an absolutely amazing thing to me. Finding Phoenix is a incredible gift I found him the night of my last retreat, Empower Your Warrior, and it was as if he jumped through the picture and said “Here I am. Are you ready?” I answered with a resounding “YES!” And I can hardly believe that we are together and starting to figure each other out.

BREATH & WINGS – this is why horses continue to hold me in their magical grip. With them I can breathe my way through all life throws me, then fly with love into my joy. WOW!

DO IT NOW

WarriorLara

My muse is AWAKE! I started 4 musings/blog posts on the way home from our sushi dinner out. Then, while we stopped by the farm just to see my new guy she said “write this tonight.” WOW!

drogon1
DO IT NOW!
Life is too short and it can change in the blink of an eye or the mere flip of a coin. No exaggeration, that is how fast our lives can change. I KNOW! I’ve lived it and I’ve seen it happen to more people than I can say. Every single one of us is just blink or a flip away from having our lives turned upside down and inside out.

So whatever you are wanting to do; whatever you are wanting to say; whatever you are wanting to try; whatever you are wanting to change – DO IT NOW!

Say yes to you.
Take the trip.
Go to the counselor.
Heal your relationships.
Buy the horse. 🙂
Get healthy in any way you can, as soon as you can.
Read the book.
Say no to the things that leave you feeling tired and crappy.
Dress in whatever makes you feel good.
Try those new things that leave you feeling brave.
Take the nap.
Quit the job you hate.
Find the job you love.
Change your life so it brings you joy and purpose.
Love yourself.
Stop making excuses.

Do WHATEVER IT TAKES to LOVE yourself and the life you are living.
DO IT NOW!

In Love

WarriorLara

lovelife

I’m in love!  No, no, no before anyone gets too excited, it’s not a new relationship.  They very thought of dating, honestly, still leads me to throw up a little.  Okay maybe a lot.  LOL. I’m so not there yet.

I am in love, even giddily so at times, with aspects of myself and my journey right now.  I guess it is kind of like developing a new relationship with myself and with my life.  More and more each day, I am embracing the things that excite me enough to make me want to jump out of bed each morning and leap into my day.  I am feeling deep, profound gratitude for all that is part of my life and it definitely creates feeling similar to “being in love.”  Wow, how cool is that?!

Here’s what I am most in love with right now.

First and foremost, my children. Hands down they are my favorite people to be with. I love talking with them, playing games, traveling, journeying with them as they become adults, watching them grow, and just hanging out in their presence. They’re all such awesome people and I feel super blessed to be part of their lives.

Second, the vision for my life and what I believe my foundational purpose and mission are.  My most recent falling in love with health coaching is a mere extension of my lifelong love and desire to be part of people’s dream creating and life transformations.  I feel reawakened and rejuvenated!   I bring this love and desire to my work as an instructor, a retreat facilitator, barn owner, health coach, and with my friends and family.

Little more in all of my work/play excites me as much as seeing people light up with joy and freedom because they’ve found new ways of being the person they most desire to be.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE journeying with people seeking to make their dream a reality and live their best lives possible.  Within every aspect of my life, I have opportunites to do this. PURE JOY!

Third, Avalon in all that it is.  The very land itself is part of my heart and breath.   I had a deep flash of this a few weeks back and was almost rocked to my knees as I realized how much I am in love with Avalon.  To be called to be caretaker of this land and all that is part of it is such an honor.  The community strengthens me and holds space for me in amazing ways. The animals speak to me just as I always dreamed of as a kid.  There is pure magic that sings throughout all that is Avalon.

Fourth, I love my writing.  That my Muse continues to be awake and speaking through me gives me great joy and hope that I am inspiring others to seek joy for themselves and believe they deserve it.  I love that I can speak of my dark trips into the rabbit holes of life as well as my light trips soaring on my dragon as a mighty warrior woman.   To say that I AM a writer – ahh yes, that leaves me giddy with love.

My entire journey, my entire self – the good, the bad, the dark, the light – I love it all for the wisdom it gives to me.  What an amazing thing it is to feel “in love” with one’s self and with one’s life!

Reach a little higher

WarriorLara

bullseye

Who’s ready to reach a little higher?!
Do an exercise with me real quick. It will take mere moments and might have a lasting impact. Right where you are, reach your arms up above your head as high as they can go. Go ahead, do it. GREAT! Now, reach a little higher. YES! Now a little higher. FANTASTIC!

Think about what you’ve just done. Even though I asked you to reach as high as you can go the first time, most of us probably reached a little bit higher 2 more times. We dug a little deeper, took a breathe, pushed a little bit more and stretched higher.
We do this with EVERYTHING in our lives. We set our goals for what we know we can comfortably and easily reach. And we sell ourselves short. I am learning we don’t set our dreams and goals high enough; at least I don’t.
I’m already 5lbs past my first targeted goal weight. Why is that not stretching as high as I can? Because I realize now, after learning this awesome exercise over the weekend, that I set my goal weight at what I knew I could easily do if I just stayed on track. But I wasn’t reaching as high as I could.

Losing 40lbs seemed quite doable and maintainable, which it really has been. But stretching a little further to lose 50 lbs – well I don’t know, maybe. 60lbs, which would put me into the healthiest range for me – ack that still, quite honestly, seems too high.

I’m D0NE setting my goals too low and not believing in myself. I’m done being content with almost there. I’m ready to go ALL IN with my life; to live the BEST, healthiest life I can. I’m ready to shoot for dead center bullseyes EVERY TIME!

I’m ready to share all of myself with the world and help ANYONE who wants to be the best person they can be. If you’re ready to reach higher, higher, higher to be the healthiest you in body, spirit and finances you can be I’d LOVE to talk with you. I absolutely LOVE being part of people transforming themselves into their own superheroes.

We really can all reach so much higher than we’ve dreamed.

REACH!!!
#doingitnotjustdreamingit #transformation #healthcoach #warriorlara

Visioning and Wonder Woman

WarriorLara

visionboardprep

“You keep doubting yourself. You are stronger than you believe. You have greater powers than you know!” Antiope to Diana

I’m watching Wonder Woman while I work on a new vision board. Perfect way to tap into my inner warrior woman/badass who wants to transform the world. If we all really believed we could positively impact our world with work from our hearts imagine how amazing it would be!

#superherosarereal #heartwork #iamawarrior #wonderwoman

Continuing Inspiration

WarriorLara

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This morning’s #pennyhello! Stepping up the shinyness and the abundance. WOOHOO!

Russell was the master at meeting new people and talking to EVERYONE we met. I used to watch in awe as he made quick connections with strangers, though I don’t think he ever thought of folks as strangers.

This is the energy I WILL channel for my life. I love all of the opportunities in my life to impact the world in a positive way! I’ve got to stop hiding behind my fears which are many.

Thanks Russell for continuing to inspire me! I see you smiling at me saying “GO!”

(Written July 22)

Oh How I Wish, Part #1

WarriorLara

penny
It’s been several weeks since my last penny find, hello from Russell. I’ve found this interesting considering the family gatherings and new adventures I’ve had, which is usually prime times for me to find pennies as I think more of Russell. Today, as Carrie S Magill dropped me off at home I found a penny on my driveway that wasn’t there this morning. 😍😍
I will be writing TONS about this weekend and the next layer of awakening that is happening. So many ah-has and new dreaming as I get a deeper sense of my mission and vision for how I want to impact the world.
For tonight, I’m simply grateful for my penny find as Russell has been strongly in my mind all weekend. I keep thinking “Oh, how I wish I’d found OPTAVIA and this health path before Russell died. Maybe he’d still be here. ”
This right here is a large part of my why. I will share more soon. Tonight, I smile and will dance a dance for Russ. 💃💃💃

(Written on July 21)
#pennyhellos #optavia18 #healthcoach #lifetransformation #iamawarrior #warriorlara

Always see the MAGIC

WarriorLara

avalonmagic

MAGIC – I hope and pray every single day that I will always believe that there is magic alive in this world. I’m sure I will as long as I continue to be part of things like yesterday as the very land of Avalon seemed to pulse with it from beginning to end. It was if a giant bell had been rung upon first light of the sun that sent reverberations through the horses, the people, and the land itself throughout the entire day.
This is the MAGIC I hear and feel to some extent everyday that I am part of Avalon. From the first moment I stepped my foot onto this property, I could hear and feel the land speak to me, no more like sing to me a song meant just for me. It’s weird to me to talk of it at times as it feels so twilight zoney and foreign to world that seeks to have such tangible proof of things. But yesterday and now this morning, the MAGIC continues to sing to me and through me so powerfully I am alternating between laughing and crying with joy and amazement.
Watching people come to Avalon and hear for even a short amount of time the MAGIC song that is there always leaves me feeling humbled and awed that I get to part of something so much bigger than a horse farm. I love the events themselves and watching people ride their horses to personal successes is wonderful. But it is watching people smile and laugh while they volunteer or compete or watch their loved ones compete that leaves me a tingle with love that seems to expand forth from the deepest part of my heart. I open myself up to feel all that energy and channel it right back through my heart to reconnect with all that is Avalon.

Beyond, so far beyond, my desire for us to create successful events is my desire for us of the Avalon community to create a place where people realize, or rather remember, MAGIC is alive in our world. It is the MAGIC of love, connection, community over competition, hope, joy, patience, humility, respect, learning, and always seeking to do things just a bit better than the time before.

This is the life I want to lead – a life that ALWAYS see the MAGIC in this world, in its’ creatures and in the humans who walk it with me. Every single day I want this to be my focus, no matter what swirly places my mind and the tasks that can weigh on me seek to take me.

I tell you what, I may not always get things right and I may not always handle the things in my life as well I would like, but that’s okay because I know I am always striving to grow and become a better friend, leader, mother, daughter, and person. Plus, I can see MAGIC at work in the world around me and I can hear the land that holds a large piece of my heart sing. How AMAZINGLY cool is that!

 

The Hidden Gifts

WarriorLara

penny gift.jpg

At first glance those of you who know me will think this musing is about the penny seen here and will lead to me talking about Russell who I always connect found pennies to these days.  In some ways it is but it is about so much more.  It is about the gifts behind the gift we think we are receiving.  It is about the love and caring of others that I can totally miss in my excitement at finding something I look for in my everyday life.  It is about the hidden gifts that magically can break open the dark places and send burst of joyful light wash over me without me even realizing it.

A few weeks ago I came home at the end of a long day and found this penny sitting on a leaf on my front door step.  I knew it hadn’t been there when I left so it felt like an extra big, magical hello from Russell. Anytime pennies show up in spots I know they weren’t just a little while ago I start hearing the Twilight Zone theme song playing in my head.  It’s eerie and exciting all at the same time.  I quickly took a picture to share, pocketed the penny, went inside and put it in my special storage space. Then I thought nothing more of it, including forgetting to post the picture.

A few mornings later one of Avalon’s boarders, Jessica, asked me if I’d gotten the present her daughter, Lauren, had left for me on the front porch. My mind blanked as I tried to recall a gift left for me.  I’m sure I looked like a deer in the headlights trying to figure it out. Jessica went on to tell me that Lauren had left me a penny with a written note on a leaf for me.  I was stunned as I realized it was the penny I’d found at the end of a rough day.  I was moved almost to tears.

I immediately looked at the picture I’d taken and sure enough I could see there was writing on the leaf.  I’d totally missed it in my excitement to find a penny.  I was stunned!  When I saw Lauren that afternoon I thanked her profusely and shared with her how much that penny had meant to me that day.

In my excitement finding something I look for I had missed the real gift completely – that a young woman in Avalon’s community had found a penny, thought of me, wrote me a note and left it all for me at my home.  What an amazing gift of sweet love and caring she gave to me.  And I’d almost missed it.

It’s taken me weeks to be able to write about the musings around this wrapped up penny gift. I’ve realized there are gifts every single day that I am missing because I’m so focused on the obvious, right before me things.  But it’s the wrapping around those obvious gifts that mean even more.   It’s the fact that Lauren and so many others think of me in seemingly random ways and then they share that with me.  That is what I am in awe of all of the time.

Lauren will probably never know how much her gift has meant to me.  Thank you can’t ever adequately describe the depth of my gratitude for people like Lauren just sharing their love and care of me and my kids.   But that’s okay.  I know what it means and I know how it’s opened me up to look at things with a wider, deeper lens.

In this time, this moment I am grateful!