A Little Secret

dreamhome

I’m going to let you all in on a little secret, a secret that keeps me stuck in more ways than I can decipher even for myself somedays. I experience massive anxiety most days. I’ve always leaned towards being an introvert, but the anxiety I’ve experienced in varying ways since Russell died leaves me wishing desperately somedays I could be a hermit, on a beach, talking to no one for days on end.

When I’m with people I love being with them, especially if it’s my kids. When I talk to people on the phone I love the conversations. But, I’m not going to lie, I could seriously be alone in my house for a VERY long time before feeling any desire to talk to anyone. And it can take A LOT of psyching myself up for even one interaction.

I don’t feel the anxiety until I know I’m about to leave the house or make the phone call. And the anxiety eases fairly quickly once I’m actually engaged in conversation with someone. When I’m experiencing it, it’s like trying to walk through quicksand with wader boots filled with concrete. Some periods of time are worse than others but it can shift randomly. But always it’s there waiting to invite me deeper into silent aloneness.

Most of the quotes and memes I share each day are what I NEED to read just to keep myself moving. I WILL create my best life and my biggest obstacle is myself.

I’ve got this and so do you!

I can help!

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I CAN HELP! I CAN HELP! I CAN HELP!

I PROMISE!

You’ve watched my journey. Some of you for a few months and some for years. You know I strive to be as authentic and honest as I can. You also probably know I don’t make promises mildly.

But I will promise you this – if you are desiring to make a change in your life, in your body, mind, spirit or finances I can help. The program I have found is AMAZING and completely transforming my life. And I know it can do the same for others who are ready for more.

If you want more energy – I can help.
If you want better sleep – I can help.
If you want to eat in a more balanced way-I can help
If you want more body freedom – I can help.
If you want a healthier mindset – I can help
If you want to lose weight – I can help.
If you want to create more purpose in your life – I
can help.
If you want to help others – I can help.
If you want some extra cash – I can help.

I promise I WILL help you create a healthier life whenever you are ready. I WILL be here ready to explore what is possible for you. And, I WILL journey with you the entire way.

You can do it! And I will help every step of the way!

Are you ready?

lifepriorities

Where do YOU want to be in the next 6 months, the next year, the next 5 years? What are you willing to do and invest in in order to become that person? What are you willing to say is worth it to do for YOU?!

I’ve got a growing fascination with the belief I have inside myself that if it’s for my kids paying for their growth is not only worth it, it’s necessary. Classes for them, health care for them, supporting their passions – all of these I’ve barely blinked at figuring out how to make happen.

But for me, my first response is often I don’t have the time or money for that. Maybe another time. Why am I not worth investing my time and money in me? The money I am earning? The growth I need to create my best life which will also benefit my kids? What message am I giving my kids about adult self-care if I say no to the things I really want to do and that will help me become my best self? 🤔🤔

These are the things I wonder about as I strive to constantly be growing. I’m learning to place higher value on my health, growth and development needs than I have given myself permission to do in the past. I pay for a counselor for my kids AND myself. I buy healthy foods for myself AND my kids. I invest money in my growth AND for my kids. I am worth spending money and time on things that will make me grow.

What could your life look like if you said yes to you more often? You would do it for your kids so why not for yourself? You’re worth doing it for yourself. You cannot become all you want to be until you believe you are worth your own time and money.

Sift through the jumble

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Because I no longer use food or Netflix to cover up my emotions, I am becoming ever more adept in sorting through the jumble my emotions can create.

Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, we have to step away from things we’ve become too twined around that we can no longer give our best selves to. We can get so twisted up inside ourselves energetically, mentally and physically that we can step dangerously close to becoming a toxin for the very thing we have so lovingly created. We can become the very thing we’ve worked so hard to keep out of our happy places.

Then, if we are really lucky, we can find ways to sift through all of the jumbled mess and begin to pull out the threads that no longer fit into who we are and who we are becoming. What an absolutely magical thing this can be as it leaves more possibility for joy and dream weaving.

My journey through letting go of being Avalon’s caretaker is just such a journey. My exhaustion wasn’t from the work of the farm. It wasn’t from the creatures. It wasn’t from the community. It was all from ME and my own unwillingness to say, for too long, I needed something different for me. My exhaustion was from battling myself and trying to ignore the rising new dreams. That exhaustion came dangerously close to pissing all over the magical things created in Avalon’s first 12 years.

Tonight, I stepped back into teaching kids with horses, which has always been one of my great joys. I stepped back in with my favorite young Avalonian, Allie, and Miss Penny, who seems to adore children. They were amazing together! As I watched these two really work at listening to one another I realized I can just BE happy at Avalon with horses again. And I can share that joy out of love and aliveness, not out of necessity.

I’m so unbelievably grateful for the things unfolding in my life right now, all because I said YES to losing some weight to get healthier. Little did I know 2 years ago how much I would gain in this complete health transformation for ALL areas of my life.

So, in addition to Transformational Coaching, I will be available to teach kids and women simply seeking connections to horses a few hours a week. Homeschoolers are especially welcome as I have lots more day free time.
Be brave and untwine the icky parts of your life that you are creating. When you do, you might just find the magic and gold buried underneath. 💖💖💖

Beach Joy

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“We’re not unhealthy because we eat too much. We’re unhealthy because of WHY we eat too much.”
4 years difference in these beach pictures. 4 years of living through so much self exploration – both the darker and the lighter parts of myself. 4 years of learning I am worth the BEST choices I can make for my health and my life. 4 years of moving through grief and learning not to eat my feelings. 4 years of moving from struggling to find pockets of joy to living joy easily.

The 53lbs I’ve lost and kept off in the last year has been AMAZING. What I have gained – energy, body movement, better sleep, clearer mind – are even better. The BEST is the new found purpose for my life as I help others find freedom for their body, minds, spirits and finances.
The joy you see in my 2019 photo isn’t just for the photo. It’s for my whole, reclaimed self who is saying 100%. YES to her healthier self!

Lion King

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Lion King kind of wrecked me. I cried off and on from beginning to end. Here’s why…

1. Not only was it the first movie Russell Peterson and I saw together, it was when I first admitted (to myself) I was irrevocably in love with him. And he was on track to be a priest so it felt a little doomed.

2. This is the first time I’ve allowed myself to watch it since he died.

3. The symbolism of life, death, purpose, passing the torch, and so much more has always been enough for me to write a book.

4. The dad dying tragically and suddenly, leaving his kid, is way too close to home.

5. The belief that we carry on the mission and the love of those who’ve died is powerfully alive as I strive to create a life in which I can bring change to the world. That was Russell’s greatest desire – to make a difference.

6. I just really miss Russ tonight as I had a great evening with two of our kids. That all of my kids still like and seek to spend time with me is one of my greatest joys and gratitude’s.

7. I know Russell would be so proud of the adults our kids are growing into and I hope someday they can really believe that too.

8. I feel emotional things so deeply sometimes, even if it’s “just” fiction. To me, who has a very active imagination, even fiction becomes real for at least a little while.

Circle of life! 💖💖💖💖

Can it? Will it?

 

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Can it work for me? Will it work for me?

These are the two questions I hear the most when I explore people’s dreams for their health with them. Heck, they were the questions I asked myself before I started on my amazing transformation path. They came from a place of fear and have now become the fuel of hope and belief I have for myself and for everyone ready for more.

“Can it work?” – YES! It can work for just about anyone. It’s a massively successful, comprehensive program designed to help people create lifelong, healthy habits one step at a time. Lose weight, less stress, more energy, get nutritionally balanced, release the grip of emotional and stress eating, sleep better, etc. CAN all happen.

“Will it work?” – MAYBE! The choice is yours, as it was mine. I’m not going to lie to you. It will only work if you put in the work. There were MANY times that I almost quit. The choice was mine if I was finally going to say enough to my pain, my exhaustion, my misery at not feeling like myself, my ever-increasing weight gain and living a life less than what I truly desired. The choice was mine to go for it and say YES to my best, healthiest self.

If people are willing to do the work and work their plan, their plan not only can work, it WILL work. That means working it moment after moment, especially after the bumps in the road. It means keeping the reason you said YES to your health always in front of you, like a carrot leading the way. It means locking arms with me, knowing I WILL believe in you until you can believe in yourself.

It CAN work! It WILL work! You just have to say YES to taking the first step to explore what that can mean for you. I am ALL IN and ready to go.

ARE YOU READY?