It’s time to stop hiding and get real

It is time for me to real and honest with myself which means I have got to stop trying to hide away from the world. This is my own, very real, vulnerable 2020 Wakeup Call. No more hiding away behind my excuses and exceptions. No more playing at creating my best life. No more writing about what I need and want, but not putting any of it into action. No more whining and complaining about the woulda, coulda, shoulda parts of my life. Just a real, honest look into where I really am and where I want to be, and then action to get myself there.

Part of my getting real and honest with myself is making the commitment again to living my life out loud. In every time and in every moment, when I live my life out loud I find more strength than I thought I had to create what is best for me. The magic, for me, is in sharing me with the world. The magic, for me, is in being authentically vulnerable. The magic, for me, is being transparent with all of the movings of my mind and my heart. The magic, for me, is in using my public sharing of my journey as part of my own accountability.

This all being said, I haven’t felt particularly well physically, emotionally, or spiritually for much of 2020. While that maybe true for many of us in this most fascinating year, mine is based in the spinning of my wheels that I have locked into place. Yes, I find joy in many, many things in my life. There is so very much I am grateful for each and every day. But overall, I’ve been walking through my life as if I am in a cloud. I’ve been exhausted; hiding behind books and Netflix; playing with my health program which I know works but I’ve stopped working all parts of the program; and writing dream and after dream and plan after plan but they are just sitting behind the strong wall my inner critic has constructed.

Everyday, I ‘ve been making excuses and finding exceptions to living my healthiest and best life. I’m playing at doing the work I know I need to do to create a life and be a woman that I love. Social eating, boredom eating, drinking with friends/family more than I want to, lazing around, binge watching show after show, reading none of the empowerment books on my stack, and so many more things have become habits that just aren’t good for me. But, believe me, I can justify why each and everyone of those things has been good for me. But are they in the long run? No, not really.

I am a mom and an entrepreneur who REALLY desires to live my best life. I want to be my healthiest self. I want to have work and businesses that I love that flows from my greatest strengths. I want clear focus. I want daily routines of action. I want to move out from under the cloud of doubt and woe is me and fear and stuckness that I have created. And I am fully aware that I have created this cloud. It is time to move it away.

So, in these final 90 days of 2020, here is my plan.

  1. Stop the negative self-talk and love myself through it.
  2. Stop making excuses and finding exceptions to my eating plan, my action plan and my dreaming.
  3. Gain control of my choices for my life.
  4. Use the abundant tools in my already very full tool bag.
  5. Stay accountable by living out loud, sharing my progress and checking in with my support people on a regular basis.
  6. Make a very clear, weekly action plan and STICK TO IT!
  7. Love myself enough to allow my future, badass self to coach me now.
  8. Lose 15 lbs to get back to my ideal weight so I can do all that I want to do. My body deserves better.
  9. Create 1 event/retreat that I can be ready to facilitate as soon as it feels safe to do so.
  10. Focus every single day on moving forward towards the amazing life I dream of for myself and my family.

There will be so much more I will be sharing as I dedicate to doing a weekly progress report as part of my commitment to living out loud. It is 100% time for me to stop hiding and start really living boldly and bravely again. You all get to be my witnesses and my cheerleaders.