Completion and creation

9year

I do not know very much about numerology but I do know that this notion of 2016 having been a 9 year with a feeling of endings and completion has rung very, very true for me all year.  The entire year has been one in which I’ve felt like I am shifting ground, walking through minefields or across land in which quick sand pits may pop up at any moment.  There has been much that has risen into consciousness within me that is calling for me to let go of in order to step forward into a new way of thinking, being and living my life.  I don’t think I even know what all has been released inside of me this year.

Basically a 9 year can be explained as follows:   “2016 is a 9 Universal Year, if we reduce the year into a single digit (2+0+1+6=9). The nine represents the end of a cycle. Therefore 2016 is a year of completion, rest and forgiveness. Everything in numerology drives in a 9 year cycle, we have come full circle. It is now the time to finish with the old, and complete the old projects and goals. The year 2016 is the best time to rethink what does not work in our lives, and to begin things differently.”   (excerpt from http://www.thepsychicsforum.com/2016-9-universal-year/)

This rings so amazingly true for me.  I’ve spent the entire year rethinking my life and myself to such an extensive degree that I have needed massive amounts of rest to just process it all.  As I’ve written before, I believe that one of the aspects of grieving is that it lays our entire wide open.  As we grieve we are challenged to deeply explore what matters most to us in the world.  Everything takes on new meaning as we search for any meaning to our lives again.  Some days we hide away from this vulnerability of being opened wide. Others we explore the things within us that no longer remain hidden away behind the stuff of life.  Bottom line for all of us, we are never, ever the same again.

I have experienced 2016 as one of lots of chaos – both for myself and for those around me.  There’s been a spinny, swirly, kind of energy all year.  It’s felt kind of like being the ball in a pin ball machine, being bounced from one loud, bright area of the game to another.  Following a straight line forward hasn’t happened very much.  Just when I’ve thought “okay now it might settle down” I’ve been shot forward to the next flashing, fast-moving event with little sense of being able to direct where I am going.  Putting one step in front of the other, trusting that all will make sense in time has been my most basic hope for each day.

“It is said that life is a balance of holding on and letting go, and this has never been as true as it is right now in the 9 global year of 2016. If we try to move forward and hold on to the past at the same time, all we achieve is stagnation. In order to move forward, we have to release our grip and LET GO of what is holding us back. It is fear of the unknown – fear of the ‘different’ – that keeps us locked inside this cruel self-destructive system. One of the many functions of 9 is to give us a jolt – to wake us up and make us look at what we have been unable or unwilling to see.” (Christine DeLorey, Creativenumerology.com) 

I started 2016 with reading Christine DeLorey’s article about the Universal 9 year.  And all year her writings have inspired me to look more deeply at the things that I am holding onto from the past that are holding me back from moving forward.  The jolts of the year within my own personal life and from the broader world have given me many opportunities to let go and find better balance.  I’m facing fears of the unknown, of being alone, of a vastly different future than I’d been picturing for the past few decades, of figuring out what matters the absolute most to me, and the areas of myself that I still need to wake up. I’ve been invited time and time and time again in 2016 to look deeper and clear away the stagnant parts of myself.

On this final day of 2016 I reflect some more about this 9 year cycle ending and realize that I am not quite sure what all I have learned this year.  I feel like there are things I have let go of and completed,  or that I am very close to doing.  But naming those in a concrete way seems to be just outside of my mental grasp.  Perhaps that alone is one of my new beginnings to thinking differently.  The answers don’t have to always be crystal clear before I start to move in a new direction.  Hmmm!

What I do know for sure is that I feel I am on the very edge of moving forward in brave, bold, new ways.  The beginning of a brand new cycle sounds exciting and inviting.  I want to move forward. I want to have new adventures. I want to try lots of new things.  I want to face the unknown with courage and an openness to new lessons.  I want to create a new life for myself.

I am just about ready. I can feel it rising up inside like a warrior woman’s cry.  Here I come 2017. Here I come!