Ah, the day has arrived. Or actually a bigger “the day” has arrived. I had seriously considered not even turning on my computer this morning. The last few days I have spent hours in front of it, tied to it almost like it’s my life line. Well, I guess it is one of my life lines. It is my most constant link to all of you throughout the world who are reading my story – the story of US – that I continue to tell as my way to honor and remember Russell Peterson. It is my way to hear and feel you reaching out to me and our family as we walk this foggy path before us. So how could I not get on for at least a little while before I wake the children to prepare for our day ahead.
As I ponder the day before me, I think of all of the many gifts Russell gave to his in his final days upon this earth. More will come to mind in the future and I can write of them then. For now I am grateful for all that he was and all that he gave.
*Time to tap into love and him – he hung on for many more days than he probably “should” have after his cardiac arrest on March 13. I believe it was for no other reason than the raw fact that we NEEDED it. All of us who love and admire him needed more time. It gifted us with the chance to say goodbye with love reigning in our hearts, rather than just confusion and anger.
*Organ donations – because of Russell’s donations many, many people have experience healing. Most touching is that his heart valves were going to be able to be used for children needing them. Such poignant joy. Sign your driver’s license as an organ donor. We can save lives!
*Each other – his final journey is reconnecting me and our whole family with folks we haven’t seen in years. This is a balm for me now and will continue to be so in the years to come. As you share your stories and your hearts with us you hold us up; which also holds you up as well. The WEB of Healing and Love Kirsten Peterson and I started weaving last week, is now a WEB for us. We hold each other. We reach out to one another. We LOVE each other.
*A pulsing, living center of love and light flows through each of us as we have opened our hearts to share in the rawness of this shocking journey. As our story is told perhaps we can help even one person smile in some way or feel connected to something bigger than themselves.
*Stories of Russell and the love of a good story – Russell loved nothing better than a great story. They are definitely being told right now. And I have no doubt Russell is smiling with the telling of each and everyone.
*My muse awakened – Russell was a poet. A quiet, almost silent poet in recent years, but a poet none the less. i believe that he has shared his gift with me, making my own desire for writing even stronger. It is not just my voice that I raise, it is his as well. I write now because I can’t tell Russell in other way about the fascinating stories I hear all day. He would so want to hear ALL of this story because it is so REAL. So I write for myself and I write for him and I write for all of us to remember!
*Pay it forward – Kirsten and I both firmly believe that sharing our stories is leading to changes around the world. Each person who is a little bit kinder, or reaches out a little bit more, or become an organ donor, or does some kind of good deed, all because of Russell, is our way of paying it forward.
All of us carry pain and hope together with us, somehow standing in the center of the two. As heavy is my heart feels for the good byes I say today, my heart is also singing with joy at the people I will see and hug who I have missed. Such an odd, mysterious gift we have been given.
I truly love you all. And I honor the gift that it is to be filled with such overflowing love. In this time, in this moment the world is holding us all up!
Breathe and Be 