Today’s morning musing is dedicated to my children – Soren, Demetri, and Kateri. You are my deepest loves, the power behind the dreams for my life and my heart’s beat. This writing came upon me so strongly as I listened to this new song by Rachel Platten, “Stand By You”, that I had to pull my truck over on the side of the road 5 times to write down everything singing through me.
I write to record my story of this time of my life so that one day we can all look back on this time and see the stones that were lovingly laid before us to step upon as we’ve sought to find balance on our paths forward. I write my story for myself and for my kids, as well as for anyone who might find some light in the sharing of my story. I listen to the world around me and even more deeply to my inner self for the wisdom that wells up almost as if the words are being written directly from my inner self onto the page. It is a powerful, powerful thing that happens inside of me.
I dedicate this song and this writing to my children who I pray someday can fully experience the depths of my love for them. For I know on the day they feel the depths of my love and settle into a deep knowing of the amazingness I see in them will be the day they can each stand with such power and strength and light that there is nothing in this world that can shake them. Until that day, I stand by them in all they choose for their own paths. I stand with love, light, joy, and hope.
My children, I watch your journeys in awe of each of you. I am honored to be your mother and be able to journey with you in this life. The greatest joys of my life come from being mother to such wonderful children. There is no other gift I will ever receive that can come close to the gifts each of you are to me.
Long have I loved teenagers for all that they are. Teenagers consistently walk the in between spaces of life that fascinate me to no end. Teens walks a place between childhood and adulthood, not always an easy place to walk but one of great discovery. The teen years are filled with play, work, learning, and so much more. Living with you three teenagers, my children, is never a dull moment. And I rejoice in every new discovery of yourselves you are having. You are in a rich part of your lives in which you are learning to step into the amazing power of YOU.
Watching you in the now of our lives, walking paths that are often dark and lonely is a humbling thing for me. I see and hear you each in your own stories creating threads of light and love, speaking your personal truths, and walking paths that are deeply your very own. I experience you loving me and each other deeply and fiercely. I see you seeking new adventures. I witness and encourage you in your honest speakings of what you each need for your own, very personal self care. I watch you becoming ever more deeply the YOU that is uniquely your own. I believe that you are finding ways to heal your hearts and walk your paths that are true and right for you.
I stand by you in EVERYTHING your path is! I love you. You are my joy, my hope, my anchor to this world. With every breath I breathe, with every new path I explore, with every new discovery of my own unique YOU, I stand by you. With a love as fierce as a mama lioness and as gentle as a hen gathering her chicks under her wing, I stand by you.
“Even if we’re breaking down, we can find a way to break through. Even if we can’t find heaven, I’ll walk through hell with you. Love you’re not alone, cause I’m gonna stand by you.”