My pledge to myself



My pledge to myself! Printed and hung up in several places to read everyday, reminding myself that I am the hero I need for me.
I WILL tend my fire and follow my dreams for my life! I will no longer allow other things, no matter how cool the idea might be, to distract me from the Warrior path I have chosen. I will stand in my truth and my truth alone as I walk the path that is uniquely my own.
#warriorlara #2018yearofthewarrior

Keep Going


Well I don’t know how exactly it happened considering while I was sick I ate off my plan much of the last weekend and spent 4 days with very little movement. I’m not counting moving from bed to the couch and back as movement. I lost 4 lbs this past week, putting me under 150 for the first time in 7 years. I’m now only 8lbs from the bulls eye goal I’ve set for myself. I should reach that by the first day of spring!
I honestly had doubts if that would ever happen again. Oh, I’ve been targeting getting back into the 140s but that quiet, self-doubting part of me has wondered (feared) that I’d never get past that 150 threshold. I even was thinking last night of starting my transition phase to just be happy with where I’ve been as I’m feeling so much better than I have in years.
I’m in shock, feeling very emotional, and my entire body is saying “thank you for taking care of me”. It’s as if I can feel my body singing this sweet song of gratitude to me. I’ve neglected it for so long.

This journey to health is intimately connected to my husband, Russell’s, death for me, as much of my Warrior path has been. Kirsten, Russell and I had just started our own health challenge with each other a few short weeks before he died in the desire to get us all out of dangerous places with our health. As I get stronger and healthier I often wonder if Russell might still be here if I had become a warrior for health – mental, emotional, spiritual and physical – back then. Obviously I can never know but it is part of my driving force today. I need to be as healthy as I can for myself and for my kids. I want to be with them for another 50 years.

Slow and steady steps forward every single day are the way to our goals. Warriors just keep stepping forward even if all they can do some days is baby, baby steps.

I’m so grateful to everyone in my life who cheers me on over and over and over again. You help me in more ways than I will ever be able to express. Each positive word fuels me to keep me going!

Go get it folks! Whatever your it is GO GET IT! It can all change in the blink of an eye as my story shows. Make this the year that you look back at the end and say I DID IT! I’m doing my best to make sure I do!

Year of the Warrior – Take back my life

I have declared for myself that 2018 is my Year of the Warrior.   It is the year that I don’t allow anything, including my own deep seated fears and BS stories to hold me back. It is the year that I radically, powerfully, joyfully take back my life and reclaim on a daily basis my belief that we can transform our lives in magical ways.

For 3 years, Rachel Platten’s song “Fight Song” has been my theme song.  I’ve written about it. I play it over and over again. I dance to it.  I share it with others who are seeking to come back from something and deeply need to believe in their amazingness.   It touches emotional cords in me that go deeper than even I know.  It calls me to more every single time I listen to it as the words and the music beat deep into my heart.

Tonight, as I ran on the treadmill I listened to Fight Song for my cool down as I’ve done for the past 4 days.  It is the song I need to listen to as the reminder that I AM A WARRIOR, passionately ready to release the phoenix who has slowly been rising from the ashes of my life over the past few years.   As I walked through my final minutes on the treadmill tonight, listening to Fight Song I felt like the drum was trying to pound directly into my soul.  Tears bubbled up and out as the refrain moved me stronger than ever before.

“This is MY fight song. Take back my life song. Prove I’m alright song.  My power’s turned on, starting right now I’ll be strong. I’ll play MY fight song and I don’t care if nobody else believes because I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”  

YES, YES, YES!  My year of the Warrior is this.  Being a Warrior is being ME as authentically as I can possible be. Being a Warrior means following my heart, my path.   Being a Warrior means being strong in MY power that is most definitely turned on.  Being a Warrior means acknowledging my fears and doing it anyway.  Being a Warrior means inviting others who are ready to journey with me to feel the magic of their own journeys.  Being a Warrior means saying yes and trusting that as long as I listen to my intuition and take action the path will open up before me.  Being a Warrior means believing in me and what I feel called to do even if it seems no one else does.  Being a Warrior means I will follow my heart and my path which means sharing my wisdom journey with the world.

NOW is the time for me to finally, joyfully take action on all of the hundreds of things that have been stirring inside for me the past several years.  As much as I may have wanted for these to come to be much sooner than now, I really wasn’t ready.  But I am NOW!  As I walk the land of Avalon, I can feel the magic of that land stirring again in ways it hasn’t been able to for probably 4 years.  Oh, magical things have still been happening because it is an amazing place, people and creatures.  But there is a magic that pulses through the land that I haven’t felt as deeply.  Until recently!

As I declare myself a Warrior for love, peace and joy I can hear the land of Avalon sing again.  It is as if the very land drums in beat to the new rhythm that is coming singing up from inside of me.  New life is pulsing through me and in turn new life is pulsing throughout all the areas of my life.   As I plan the upcoming “I am a Warrior” retreats, there is so much awakening inside of me.   I want to share the wisdom that has come to me as I have traveled in the shadow places between the light and the dark.  I want to help others find the Warrior residing inside of them who is wanting to give them the power to be strong and find joy.  And this is only the beginning!

“There’s a fire burning in my bones, still believe, yeah I still believe.”

Daily I am taking back my life and allowing life to take me back.   My commitment to living an entire year (and probably way more) with the mindset of a Warrior is exciting.   I feel the fire burning inside of me as my entire being is lit up ready to live and love with joy!